Just around “Down’s Syndrome Day” last month, I had penned an article about acceptance of a special child. Now that we are in the middle of a nation-wide lock down for last 3 weeks, there is lot of anxiety and restlessness in society at large. When things are rather somber, music and humor or for that matter any form of art could provide us with much needed fresh air and positivity. With that context, I just thought of compiling a play-list of song that could give a good sense of up and downs that a parent goes through while raising a special child!!!
For any parent it is most devastating while receiving the news about child’s diagnosis and lot of pain strangles our mind with why me? Or why us ? questions. In those days, the songs that I listened most frequently was a song by Jagjit Singh and the lyrics were so close to my heart that later on I listened lot of songs by the lyricist, Nida Fazli
Jeevan kya hai....
Chalta phirta ek khilona hai
Do aankhon me ek se hasna ek se rona hai
Jo jee chahe woh mil jaaye kab aisa hota hai
Har jeevan jeevan jeene ka samjhouta hota hai
In those early days of shock and denial, lot of sad songs of Kishor Da or Rafi sahib automatically got added to my playlist
Yeh Jeevan Hai Is Jeevan Ka Yehi Hai - Yehi Hai Yehi Hai Rungroop Thode Ghum Hain Thodi Khushiyan Yehi Hai Yehi Hai Yehi Hai Chaon Dhoop
Zindgi Kaisi Hai Paheli Haye, Kabhi Toh Hasaye, Kabhi Yeh Rulaye
Zindagi ka safar, hai ye kaisa safar… Koi samajha nahin, koi jaana nahin… Hai ye kaisi dagar, chalate hain sab magar …Koi samajha nahin, Koi jaana nahin
Raahi manava dukh ki chinta kyon sataati hai dukh to apana saathi hai
Kabhi Khud Pe Kabhi Haalaat Pe Rona Aaya
Unless parents reach an acceptance at deeper level of mind, there is no escape from the spiral of negative emotional. This entire process is not linear and not everyone goes through every stage. At this stage, parents start subscribing to both positive and negative emotions and songs too –
Chalte Chalte Mere Yeh Geet Yad Rakhna..Kabhi Alvida na kehna
Aanewala pal, jaanewala hai
Ruk jaana nahin tu kahin haar ke …Kaanton pe chal ke, milenge saaye bahaar ke…. O raahi, o raahi
Git gaata hun main, gunagunaata hun main Maine hasane ka waada kiya tha kabhi Isalie ab sada muskuraata hun main
Zindagi Ki Yehi Reet Hai Har K Baad Hi Jeet Hai .. Thode Aansu Hain Thodi Hansi Aaj Gam Hai To Kal Hai Kushi
One of the new age songs at this point was –
Har ghadi badal rahi hai rup zindagi Chhaanw hai kabhi, kabhi hai dhup zindagi Har pal yahaan ji bhar jiyo Jo hai samaan, kal ho na ho
Finally, when acceptance sinks in, parents are ready to accept the new reality, even though it's not the one they wanted. At this point, emotion remains positive for most part.
Thoda hai thode kee jarurat hai …Jindagee phir bhee yaha khubsurat hai
Main Zindagi Ka Saath Nibhata Chala Gaya …Har Fikar Ko Dhuen Mein Udata Chala Gaya
Kitne bhi tu kar le sitam, has haske sahenge hum…Yeh pyaar na hoga kam, Sanam teri kasam
And my most favorite these days has been –
Aashiyana Mera, Saath Tere Hai Na, Dhundte Teri Gali, Mujhko Ghar Mila
Aabodaana Mera, Haath Tere Hai Na, Dhundte Tera Khuda, Mujhko Rab Mila…
Tu Jo Mila, Lo Ho Gaya Main Kaabil, Tu Jo Mila, Toh Ho Gaya Sab Haasil
Mushkil Sahi, Aasan Hui Manzil, Kyunki Tu Dhadkan …Main Dil…
I am sure when the child grows up, he/she will have own sets of experiences and emotions, the song that will come back and we better be prepared to
Main Aisa Kyun Hoon ..Main Aisa Kyun Hoon …Main Jaisa Hoon Main Waisa Kyun Hoon
Karna Hai Kya Mujhko Ye Maine Kab Hai Jaana..
Finally, raising a special child is life-long journey and one has to keep things in context. For that matter, I would end this article with one of my most favorite peom from “ Zindgi na Milegee Dobara” –
Jab jab dard ka badal chaya, Jab gham ka saya lehraya,
Jab aasu palko taq aaya, Jab yeh tanha dil ghabraya,
Humne dil ko ye samzaya dil aakhir tu kyu rota hai,
Duniya me yu hi hota hai.
Yeh jo dard k sannate hai, wakht ne sabko hi bate hai,
Thoda gham hai sabka kissa, Thodi dhup hai sab ka hissa,
Aankh teri bekar hi nam hai, Har pal ek naya mausam hai,
Kyu tu aaise pal khota hai, Dil aakhir tu kyu rota hai.
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I would love to hear your comments and suggestions. Please contact on 8308879900 / shlok.ability@gmail.com
P.S. I have created playlist of above songs on Gaana.com. Feel free to listen to this playlist.
https://gaana.com/playlist/sachinjakhotia-amusicaljourneyofraisingspecialchild-k3yjyvn5wr
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